A Surly surgeon

My mother once had an orthopedic surgeon I found insufferable. He was arrogant, rude, belligerent, and utterly lacking in decent bedside manner. He had little patience and made it painfully clear how he felt. The more I tried to connect with him, the colder and more abrasive he became—nearly pushing me to seek another doctor for my mother. Yet, if it weren't for this surly surgeon, my mother would likely have died. Allow me to share the backstory of how this man became her doctor, how he ultimately saved her life, and how he reminds me of another deeply unlikable “surgeon” tasked with the daunting job of saving our country.

Moma's long battle with arthritis

Moma endured the crippling effects of severe rheumatoid arthritis for forty years, which ravaged her muscles, limbs, and joints. Eventually, the damage became so extensive that she needed double knee replacements to walk without enduring constant pain. After the surgery, she experienced a period of being pain-free, regaining mobility, and rediscovering the joys of life.

A life threatening infection

Years later, Moma developed an infection in one of her knee replacements. Her primary orthopedic doctor treated the infection but failed to recognize the aggressive nature of its spread. As the situation deteriorated, the infection coursed through her body, ultimately leading to a life-threatening case of sepsis. She was urgently transferred to a large medical facility in our state and placed on high doses of antibiotics. At one point, she was perilously close to death, yet we held tightly to our faith in God—and in the expert skill and wisdom of the seasoned orthopedic surgeon I mentioned earlier. Moma survived the crisis, but she was left facing a life-altering decision.

A dire diagnosis and a brutal choice

Once Moma was stable and the immediate danger had passed, we met with her surgeon. He emphatically stated that unless Moma underwent an amputation below the knee, she would succumb to the lingering infection in her body. It was made abundantly clear that there were no alternatives and that time was of the essence. While we were all in shock at such a grim prognosis, Moma bravely decided to proceed with the amputation to save her life.

hope to walk again

After the surgery, Moma faced several weeks of healing—both physically and emotionally. While we were all grateful that she was still with us, there was a profound longing to see her walk again—particularly for me. One day, I approached her orthopedic surgeon and asked if she might be a candidate for a prosthetic leg. I’ll never forget his direct response when I inquired about the possibility of Moma using a prosthesis to help her walk again.

“Probably not,” was his blunt answer. He added that we should simply be thankful she was alive—which we certainly were. Yet, I couldn’t help but feel it was cruel of him not to even consider giving Moma the chance to try walking with a prosthesis. As I pressed him for more information, he explained that the damage to her muscles was too extensive and that she would likely struggle to adjust to a prosthetic leg. He was adamant that she was not a viable candidate, and he even convinced Moma of this. From that point on, she dismissed the possibility, became wheelchair-bound, and never walked again. In hindsight, I realized he wasn’t being unkind; he was basing his opinion on her medical condition at that time and understood the challenges she would face given her weakened state.

anger, resentment and perspective

I shared all of that to make a point. I despised this man for what he put my mother through—physically, by taking her leg, and mentally, by convincing her she would likely never walk again. I viewed him as cold and heartless and resented him for years. My mother took his words to heart and never even attempted to walk with a prosthesis. It took me a long time to realize that, despite his seemingly cruel demeanor, he genuinely cared for my mother and understood her condition well enough to make difficult decisions. He was trying to shield our family—and, most importantly, my mother—from the pain and disappointment of fighting a battle she would inevitably lose.

truth over false hope

As the years progressed, Moma accepted the loss of her leg and thrived despite her inability to walk. During this time, I realized that her "mean" orthopedic surgeon actually knew what he was talking about. He saved her life, and by being brutally honest with her—and with our family—he spared her the heartbreak of pursuing an unattainable goal. Moma went on to embrace life, refusing to let her limitations hinder her from serving her family, her community, and God.

My point is simple: despite my strong disdain for Moma’s orthopedic surgeon and his complete lack of bedside manner, he saved her life when her previous doctor had failed to recognize how close she was to death. For that, I will always be grateful. He was also candid with us—and with Moma—about her likely inability to adapt to a prosthesis, preventing her from enduring a struggle that would have only ended in disappointment. Though I once found his manner harsh, I came to appreciate that his decisions were based on truth rather than false hope.

a modern parallel

I often think of this surgeon when I encounter the vitriolic and ignorant comments directed at our President—Donald J. Trump. They share many similarities. I’ll be honest: Donald Trump doesn’t have the most refined “bedside manner” when it comes to communicating with others or delivering unfavorable news. He embodies the true New Yorker spirit, and we all know that most New Yorkers tend to lack a filter. He can be brutally frank, heartless-sounding, and stubborn at times—but he is often right in what he asserts, even if his delivery lacks the polish we might expect from a president. Like Mom’s surgeon, his actions can sometimes seem extreme. However, as an experienced businessman who has built and operated numerous successful enterprises, he possesses the knowledge and wisdom to make consequential decisions for our country—even if those choices sometimes appear illogical, cruel, or harmful. If you understand his goal is to help our nation, those actions start to make sense.

While his words may not always be eloquent or technically correct, he speaks with conviction and authority. Sometimes that’s necessary when addressing someone who is ignorant or misinformed. If you’re bothered by it, that’s tough luck. He often prioritizes getting his message across over worrying about how he is perceived. This trait can lead him into trouble, particularly with those who believe he doesn’t act in a traditionally “presidential” manner. But I didn’t vote for him because he’s a polished speaker; I voted for him because he’s a savvy businessman who understands the political landscape and knows how to achieve results. Much like my mother’s orthopedic surgeon, he possesses the knowledge, experience, and skill to address the “infection” that lingers in our country due to the previous administration’s negligence.

Mom never walked again, and our nation may never recover unless someone like President Trump has the courage to “speak the truth” and take bold actions to thwart those who seek to undermine it—even if that means “amputating” a dysfunctional organization, an adversary, or a segment of government that is compromised or ineffective.

I’ll admit that there are times when I cringe at President Trump’s remarks or actions, but I can overlook his blunt “bedside manner” in light of the positive changes our country has seen since he became our “surgeon.” He has played a crucial role in reducing excessive taxes, eliminating federal waste, curbing illegal immigration, and exposing massive government fraud that has cost Americans millions. He has effectively negotiated with various world leaders to foster peace, unity, and reduce conflict across several regions. He continues to work diligently for the benefit of all Americans and the advancement of our country.

Like my mother’s surly orthopedic surgeon, beneath President Trump’s sometimes blunt and prickly demeanor lies a man who genuinely cares for his country and its citizens. I can’t think of a more capable "surgeon" to restore the ailing condition of our nation.